sep·a·ra·tion

1. an act or instance of separating or the state of being separated.

     …

5. Law.

    a. cessation of conjugal cohabitation, as by mutual consent.

    b. judicial separation

(Source: dictionary.com)

Conjugal is from a root word “to join” as in marriage. About seven states so strongly support the Biblical view that “the two shall become one flesh” in marriage that that they hold on to the out-of-date concept of ‘tenancy by the entireties’ whereby the marriage owns real property rather than husband or wife.

So the definition of separation being a cessation of conjugal cohabitation makes since it is the “un-joining” of the marital unity. I have shown this definition to some and they laugh because the use of “conjugal visit” for prisoners has made us think that conjugal equals sex. In that context, perhaps it is funny in that many married couples laugh or joke when asked when was the last time they had sex. Late night sitcoms echo this opinion and it’s not surprising when you consider the hours that both husband and wife are employed, the time spent driving the kids to soccer practice, ballet, mowing the yard, etc. Who wouldn’t rather zone out to Two and a Half Men than have sex? But sex or lack thereof does not determine a separation in and itself.

A NC legal separation requires that husband and wife no longer live together in the same house. So there can be no cohabitation whatsoever. Our state law, N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-6, holds they can have isolated incidents of sexual intercourse without that being declared a resumption of the marriage.

With the current economic circumstances, some law firms report that more couples are choosing to live together even through a bad marriage than seek separation and a NC Divorce. This may mean an upturn in separation and divorce when the economy improves. 

It is critical that you consult to legal counsel licensed to practice in your state for advice on what constitutes a legal separation.

Does it still cross your mind in regards to getting your ex back ?  Do you find that you are still in love with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend ?  If so, are you looking for some advice to point you in the right direction ?

The love of your life is now gone from your life , what should   you do?  Should you be fighting hard to get your ex back ?

You can either decide it time to move on or seek out help to point you to a new place in your life that you can work on getting back your ex .

If you choose or decide to move on   it will depend how bad  of a break you had on what type of assistance  you will need.  If it was a terrible  breakup , your more than likely going to be emotionally spent.  If so, you will need a lot  of time to recover emotionally .

Your focus should be on taking care of yourself physically and emotionally . Make sure that you come to  terms with the reality that it may be time to move on . There will be reason to beat yourself up about any choices   you may have made during the relationship .  We all make mistakes, so accept it and learn from it .

Be sure to make time to allow yourself to heal . Now is not the time to be overly concerned with your ex .  When you are in a better place you contemplate such actions .  Your ex is   no longer your responsibility.

If you feel overwhelmed with emotional stress , don’t hesitate to ask for professional help to get you back on your feet .  Thats just the reason that there are so many professionals available, because we all can use   help in times of crisis .

If you still feel the same while apart and you are still considering  the idea of  getting back together with your ex then you need to follow a few steps to make sure you do it right .

But in the meantime, take care of yourself and allow yourself to get back on your feet emotionally .  When you are back on stable ground , you can read on how to work on getting your ex back .

Why Are My Partners Always Needy?

by Tim on June 21, 2010

Angelo had been married to Serena for 15 years before divorcing. In his marriage, Angelo was a caretaker, always trying to please Serena, always trying to get her approval and avoid her disapproval. Serena was a taker – handing responsibility to Angelo for her happiness and often angry with him when he didn’t do what she wanted. Inside, Serena was deeply insecure, too insecure to even work, so she completely relied on Angelo financially.

“There was no love or affection, just demands,” Angelo told me in our first phone session.

Soon after separating from Serena, Angelo met Barbara. At the beginning Barbara was kind and affectionate, seemingly totally different than Serena. But within a few months, she too become demanding, often complaining that Angelo wasn’t spending enough time with her. When they were together, she was often depressed, complaining that Angelo was not there for her. This is what led Angelo to seek my help.

“Why are my partners always needy? Aren’t there any women out there who are not needy?”

Yes, there are many,” I told him, “but people come together at their common level of self-abandonment. This means that the level to which you abandon yourself with your caretaking others and trying to get love from them, is the same level at which the women you attract abandon themselves – trying to get you to take care of them. If you want to attract women who are not needy, then you need to learn to not be needy yourself.”

Angelo had never thought of himself as needy. He did not realize that caretaking others is a form of control to try to get the other person to give him the love that he had never learned to give to himself – to fill the emptiness that he was causing with his self-abandonment.

He began to realize that his self-judgments, compliance, addictions, and making others responsible for his feelings were making him feel anxious, depressed, and needy. He was shocked to discover that, while he was a caretaker rather than a taker and didn’t make the kind of demands on others that the women in his life made of him, he was abandoning himself as much as they were abandoning themselves – and was therefore just as needy.

As Angelo learned to take loving care of himself, he started to meet a very different kind of woman. He was surprised and delighted to discover that there are many women in the world who are not needy!

Recommend Dating Site: Mywolfbook.com - Meet friends onlineMake friends online, Meet Sexy Girls Online. 

Is Neil Strauss Et AL a Scam?

by Tim on June 24, 2010

This is kind of a hard article for me to write because all of the major “dating gurus” have some truth in them. Something that is workable. So when it comes down to thinking thoughts like ” Speed Seduction not effective ” or ” David Deangelo scam ” or ” is David Deangelo a scam ” I have a little bit of trouble with it.

But as a writer I have to be objective so here is the scale I came up with to characterize the relative “scaminess” of these writer’s materials.

SCAM-O-METER: 10= NO SCAM, 1= SCAM (in between – relative scaminess)

Mr L. Rx – 10

 David Deangelo – 7

Love Systems -  5

The Game -  5

Ross Jeffries – 4

Guy Gets Girl – 1

Ok so the first guy on the chopping block will be….

David Deangelo.

Is Double Your Dating A Scam?

Well, my first reaction in to say no, as he does provide a very good service to men. He really gives us a lot of useful data on how to meet women.

However, from the viewpoint of providing a workable system his personal materials are definitely a merchandising scam. “Cocky and Funny” his hallmark is not the most useful and best data out there.  His position as number one in terms of popularity has to be somewhat of a marketing scam as the workability of his materials don’t justify it.

His best materials with the most useful knowledge and data is his dating guru series in which he interviews many different dating gurus. Notably, however, his best materials are materials which are not his hypothesis.

Whether David is a marketing scam or not, still his materials are helpful and should be included in your library if you are a true seeker of understanding women. David gets a 7 on the scam-o-meter.

Is Neil Strauss A Scam?  

Well Neil may be the most famous of all of these Dating Advice Guru’s and his historical New York Times best seller “The Game” sure enough was no scam.  However, I tested his ideas and they are out of date and not as effective as Mr. L. Rx, and David Deangelo.  

He is trying to modernize his works as he admits “the game is dead” but his new techniques are just as gamy as the old ones and certainly offer no deep level of understanding as does Mr. L. Rx or the comprehensive information that David Deangelo offers with his Dating Guru Series.

Therefore with all due respect we give The Game and Neil a 5 on the scam-o-meter.

Is The Mystery Method A Scam?

Mystery has a good marketing program going on. TV show and everything.

I would say that the bottom line mystery knows how to pick up women. However, his techniques are horrid to quite a few men and certainly quite a few women. There are even former students who while successful say they didn’t like what they were doing and in time stopped his techniques. So if you are looking for a girlfriend, then Mystery’s Method would definitely be a scam. If you just want to “score” then his method may work for you. 

However, you might not like the man that you become, or the women you end up with.  If your goal in life is to meet a nice woman and get a girlfriend then consider Mr. L. Rx’s system or David DeAngelo’s system, you will be much better off with them.

IF you merely want to be a pick up artist, then Mystery’ system will work, although you will probably find that Mr. L. Rx’s system works for PUA’s even better and that you might end up with the kind of a woman you want if you go with Mr. L. Rx’s system.

Therefore we give The Mystery Method a 5 on the scam-o-meter.

Is Mr. L. Rx A Scam?

Without question a big DEFINITELY NOT.  The is the best and most useful and workable system out there. No one even compares.

Mr. L. Rx’s level of understanding cuts to the real basics and more-or-less includes and  explains all the other systems out there as sub-technologies of Dating To Relating.  Even if Mr. L. Rx doesn’t go into as much detail on these sub technologies as their authors do you would do yourself a favor by getting Mr. L. Rx’s data and integrating it with one of the sub-technologies.

Mr. L. Rx says someplace on his website “Why double your dating when you can 10 x it?” And this is comparably the truth. From personal experience the order of magnitude of his technology will get you about 5 times as many women as any of the other technologies out there.

I have a freind who is a novice at picking up women. He loved Mr. L. Rx. I have another friend who is a master PUA himself. A guy who has had sex with thousands of women. He loved Mr. L. Rx too and learned from him. So whether you arre a master or novice there seems to be something for everyone in Mr. L. Rx’s “Dating To Relating.”

 Guy Gets Girl Scam?

 DEFINITELY A SCAM.

These materials are just worthless pieces of nothing. Generalized data. Nothing specific. Most of it is not even written by Tiffany. Most of her materials are written by a man, Woody Wilcox. This is one of the more expensive products (I paid $60 for it) and you get a 63 page double spaced book with 1 ¾ margins on each side and you can tell they are just trying to take up space so they can justify the money they are taking from you.

They do a great job of illusion. jazzy videos on you tube, good professional promo, and a website with lots of information on it. But the final product is just a marketing ploy. They are trying to sell books by convincing guys that a women can ostensibly give better advice about dating to men then men. NOT TRUE.

But if you have some extra money to spend, and you are a real moron when it comes to women, there may be some general advice that Tiffany and Woody give that might work for you. That’s about it.

If you are a guy looking for a system that will work stand alone, don’t waste your money on this one. THIS IS A SCAM! = 1

Is Speed Seduction A Scam?

Ross Jeffries was one of the originators of the dating advice community for men on the internet, but I think he has become out of date and compared to writers like Mr. L. Rx, David Deangelo, and Mystery his materials are less effective in general. Some of his materials and techniques work, but some are controversial, and some have the appearance of a complete sham.

I think that the overall problem with Ross’s work is that it is only workable for a few select personalities of guys (guys who have low self esteem for example might appreciate his work) and for a few select personality type of women (like gamers and manipulating women) It is not going to work on all women so to the degree he represents this is how you handle women – his techniques are a scam.

Overall there is some workability but not a lot. Not right for everyone. So we will give him a 4 on the scam-o-meter.

 

You need to understand that online dating can be pretty dangerous because of the variety of people who patronize the services of online dating sites daily. You may want to consult an online dating expert on the best way to handle online dating if you aren’t exactly a Don Juan. Your relational skills can be boosted with online dating, but if your primary goal is to turn friend into girlfriend then you may be better to approach it in a slightly different way.

Without the right attitude, you don’t have a chance in hell of attracting an online date or being able to save the marriage if that is ultimately your goal. The obscurity that online dating provides does not in anyway excuse your lack of social skills if you have none. You must have a level of relational skills to be a success with online dating.

Make the most of any free trail period that an online dating site may offer you to see if they have what you are looking for. An online dating website’s ability to match you properly is what distinguishes it from the rest out there. If you aren’t satisfied with the services of an online dating site during their free trail period, chances are, you will never be even after you subscribe.

Don’t discard any twinge of warning in your gut that tells you that someone you meet online is lying to you about themselves. In an online dating setting, anybody you are not sure of should be avoided instantly. With crimes such as identity theft and cyber stalking on the rise, you can’t be too careful with your online dates. You should check out a system like the magic of making up which goes into a lot more detail about the different factors that are at play.

The pace of dating in an online scene is dictated by you. You don’t have to be under pressure in an online dating scene. In an online dating scene, you call the shots and decide what and who you want to date.

It’s a common question many women ask at one point or another within their lives: He broke up with me how do I get him back? The good news is that no matter how hopeless this reveals you should be able to have the ideal guy back with you… if you follow some simple advice.

This advice has helped 1000s of people fix the problems into their romantic relationship and win her with their ex, it can benefit you too.

 Many of the tips may seem weird or completely wrong, but they are not.  Just continue with the steps and don’t think you possibly can skip any, and you will possess a good chance of having your ex back with you.

Another word of warning, don’t expect to have this to take place quickly.  It will take anywhere from several weeks to several months and I know that while you are in so much pain it will appear to be too long to have to wait, in case you might try to rush it, you’ll only make both you and your ex more unhappy. Have hope and follow these steps and you’ll more than likely be happy that you did.

 

Now is not the time to be available to your ex.  It’s one thing to acknowledge just how much you love him when the both of you were together, but this time it will just seem creepy. 

 You must give him space. I understand how challenging this can be, you may be terrified he might meet a different person, but you can’t be upsetting him and assume him to want to have anything to do with you.

  If you’re practically stalking him all you are going to do is stroke his pride and / or cause him to be upset.  Give him space and avoid him.

Don’t worry,, this time apart will probably go faster than you thought because you’ll be busy. Now it’s time to assess the kind of girl you are.

When you consider a long look at yourself and in what way you act, what points do you need to alter?  These would be the things you need to concentrate upon now.  Spend time attempting to become a better person.

Something you’ve got to remember is that these changes are in regards to you and making your self better.  True, eventually you’re wishing that the ex will observe the changes and choose they need you back again, but ultimately you aren’t changing on their behalf, you’re changing because you want to enhance yourself.

Do not begin dating additional men to make your ex jealous. That’s childish and dumb and will most likely destroy any chance you have of getting him back.  Just spend time with your  pals enjoy yourself no matter how hard it is.  Live your life and word will get back to him and he’ll be feeling like he’s missing out on something.

These tips are simple but very effective.  If you’re willing to give him some space and work on your issues, you’ll have a really good chance of getting your ex back.  I hope this answers the question: he broke up with me how do I get him back?  Good luck!

This isn’t intended to become discussion on the Bible, or anything religious, but I’d like to raise a particular point. In line with the Bible, you will find only two acceptable reasons for divorce, and one particular may be a cheating spouse. I agree with all my heart that infidelity is really a serious offense. The usual understanding states that people should decide to part if one of them has been unfaithful. It does not need to be like that if both sides are prepared to do what it takes. As many know restoring trust in relationship   isn’t easy, but it can be done. Here are some ideas on how to make that happen.

The main thing is to bear in mind while you go through the process of restoring trust  is that it takes changes in the actions and attitudes of both people inside the relationship. Even with something as serious an affair, a relationship can be saved. The important thing is begin with a tiny amount of trust, and continuing to build on it.

Before you start rebuilding trust, you have to take a good look at what went wrong. Our natural tendency is to blame each other, and they are likely responsible somewhat, nevertheless the only person you might have total control over is yourself; therefore, you have to get to the reason behind what you may have done to end the relationship. Once you find the root of the problem, you can take steps to fix it.

For example, if your partner had an affair, the thing that was it which they have been seeking from somebody else? What was it that you simply weren’t providing? You will need to improve these things if you want to have a very good future together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never proper to cheat, but we are attempting to restore a relationship and work on trust. Whilst you can’t undo days gone by, it is possible to certainly create a better future.

The next phase is to start actually gaining some trust again. Among the best things you can do is assume your mate has been honest. As a result, you’re going to get trust in return. Needless to say, that is simple to say, but much harder in practice. So, the trick here’s to consider small steps. Tell your mate that you’ll be home by 7:00 PM, then be home by 7:00 PM (or a little early if at all possible). It would not necessarily have to be anything big, just start demonstrating your capability to remain faithful to your word.

Over time, these small steps start to accumulate and build on one another. But, you must keep doing it, try to follow-through on what you say you will do. Excuses will not cut it at this point. In reality, if you have any possibility, any doubt in your thoughts in any way, then it is better to not say anything at all.

As you may already know, restoring trust in relationships  just isn’t an easy task. And the more severe the reason behind having less trust, the harder it will be to regain it. Keep the focus on trust, and keep taking those small steps, and before you know it, you’ll be happy once again.

You had been a challenge for her. You had a superior appeal and she was irresistibly fascinated by you.

And I am about to make a wild guess here, but is it that as time went on, you grew to become less and less of a challenge for her?

And could it be that right now, you are zero challenge for her? And that she understands that if she wanted to, at any moment she could get you back again and twisted around her little finger simply by saying the word?

I am going to be crude here, nevertheless as you know, to develop into a challenge once again you need to show to your ex that her sexuality has no influence over you any more. Think about what it’s like when you are stalking her with unreturned phone calls, voice mails, text messages, and emails. And after that think about just what it is like when you keep on doing it (as a lot of guys do) even after she’s told you to stop. You happen to be indicating to the woman that you’re a low-value guy without any other sexual alternatives.

Your lady will not respect you again until you reject her lovemaking power over you. Luckily you’re doing that now by not directly interacting with her.

Be sure you stay 100% strict with your communication cut-off. Don’t be “friends” with her, because that rewards your ex with the continued approval of power over you while supplying her a handy excuse to stay broken up. (She justifies that she is letting you down easy doing this, assuaging virtually any remorse she may feel.)

However, make sure to keep her locked in with your stuff. Most likely a lot of your belongings are at her residence, and vice versa. She could even owe you money as well. She may get a mutual friend of yours to ask you if you would like all of it returned.

The very best response to this should be  “No, not yet.” The justification is simply because her possessing your stuff (and you possessing hers) is still locking you two in and guaranteeing future communication. If you are interested in getting back together, you do NOT want to provide her the psychological closure that would be caused by settling your accounts.

For the next 3 weeks, you must completely accept — and embrace — the fact that you are an independent guy now. Take what took place with your ex-lover and learn from it. You’ve got a golden opportunity to revolutionize your life, whether or not you ever get your ex back again.

Ways To Get Back At Your Ex

by Tim on July 11, 2010

The connection between two different people is a sensitive bond. A bond that will need building up and maintenance for that relationship to grow and be healthy. The fact is always that breaking up  is a reality and is often annoying, stress filled and nerve wracking. After a break up its completely normal that you want to get back at your ex .

However, you have to consider if that’s truly the the way to go. The art of getting back at your ex can in fact bring about getting back together with your ex. By applying the next five tips, your boyfriend or girlfriend may love you more, and would like to get together again with you.

1) Stay durable. The last thing you want to do is beg. Acting obsessive and clingy smacks of hopeless desperation, and it is really a turn off than anything. Also, by being weak you’ll be giving more power for your ex, and that can make things a whole lot worse. Instead, give he or she the impression that you’re doing great without them by staying strong. Perhaps your ex will realize you have got over them, nevertheless they weren’t as ready to split as they simply first thought.

2) Lessen conversation. What? You might be wondering how not talking to each other could ever allow you to win your ex back. It seems to be so counterintuitive. But over time, it may be a good move. It gives both sides a chance to cool down and reflect on what went wrong. Additionally, it gives your ex more time to miss you. That old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true in this case and can lead to being together once more.

3) Flexibility is critical. Prevent ultimatums and demands. As opposed to arguing, try sympathizing and being attentive. Go with the flow and be flexible. The ex-mate may love to see that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable. This alone might be enough to get them thinking of as being a couple again. Plus, it shows themfor which you don’t always have to argue. (Now, how did I understand you’ve argued before?)

4) Venture out! Look, you broke up…everybody gets that. But that does not mean you have to wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from your friends and enjoying yourself. Venture out. Live a bit. Have some fun. Go out with friends. You don’t need to start dating to prove anything, have a fantastic time.Not only will achieving this be therapeutic, it’ll also allow you to look better from the eyes of one’s ex.

5) Be genuine. That’s all. You need to be yourself. It’s almost guaranteed that your boyfriend or girlfriend was originally attracted to some element, or elements of who you really are. Be confident in being whoever you might be. Nobody likes a phony, your ex, in time, may respond to exactly the same things they found so appealing when they first met you. Healing those busted bonds really are a sure way to get your ex back  once and for all.

 

Did you just went through a breakup but still want to get back together with your ex? You may want to score your ex back right away, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. By now, surely you are eager to call or text your ex to come back and fix the relationship. But is this really going to make things better? Calling your ex will only make matters worse, and you might end up driving your ex further away.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don’t! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don’t! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question “How do I get back together with my ex?”

Step 1 – Accept the Breakup!

First of all, you need to accept that the breakup is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the “moving on” process to begin. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 – Do not contact your ex!

Do not try to get in touch with your ex even if you badly want to. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some “thinking time”. This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

The more you are away from each other, the more he or she will think about you and your relationship. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

Step 3 – Meet up

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. After being away from each, the moment you see each other again, you can tell if he or she still loves you and want to get back together with you. If your ex still loves you, there’s no reason why he or she will not get back to you.

How to get back with my ex?” Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.