First of all let me start by saying that I am not a lawyer and that what you read here is only my personal opinion. Having said this, I would like to point the fact that while passing through divorce, I have gathered an enormous amount of know how on the subject. Thanks to my lawyer, to the internet and to some divorce help books and eBooks I am confident to say that I know a great deal on the subject. If you want to read further on the subject I would suggest that you buy this eBook, which is as far as I know the best guide for men who are facing divorce:
Insider Secrets & Strategies That Men Must Know to Win Their Divorce
Many men file for divorce without knowing what is in store for them. It is unfortunate to see that many men and women opt for divorce at the first hurdle. In my opinion the first thing one should do if you have marital problems is try to save your marriage by attending for couples advice counseling classes. Only if relationship advice does not get you anywhere should you start looking for essential divorce advice for men.
It is always best to try to arrive to divorce mediation without going the court. However this is not always possible so in that case you might have no alternative but to hire a lawyer to tackle the issue in court. The first piece of legal advice for divorce is to hide any letters and any financial documentation, or to simply take these away from your home. You should not be surprised that your wife would start looking for any papers she could find, to use these against you in court. So it is always better to be safe than sorry. If you have moved away from your house, then it is important to change your mailing address as soon as possible. Otherwise your wife might have access to your personal letters and to bills addressed to your name, which is not what you want.
Another important thing to take care of is the monetary situation. The first financial divorce advice one normally gets is to cancel any joint credit card accounts and to open a credit card account on your name. After you have done that you should inform your wife about this. Informing your wife beforehand might get her on a credit card spending spree just to make you angry. Any joint bank accounts should also be divided equally. If on the other hand you are the only or the primary source of income for the family (your wife might be a house wife or she might earn less than you) it is important NOT to cut all finances to your wife immediately, especially if you have children. Otherwise this might be used against you in court.
The same can be said of insurance policies. If your insurance is covering your wife and children, you should not cancel the insurance policy until the divorce ruling is over. In the same manner, any house expenses like heating and electricity bills would still need to be paid, even if you are living away from your home. Another important point to make is that you should not spend any money unnecessarily. The divorce costs can be much higher than you initially thought, so only buy the essential things and leave the things that you can do without for the after divorce.
After taking care of the financial situation, you must start looking at the valuables that you have in your house. Any personal collections (paintings, gold coins, expensive watches, small antiques, designer clothes, etc.) should be moved away from the house as soon as possible. Larger items and essential items such as furniture would need to be left in their place. However you should take photos and videos of these items so that you can show these as proof in case your wife decides to sell these at an auction, antiques shop, second hand shop or on the internet.
Even if the divorce waiting period is a long one and things might not be going the way you hoped for, you should also avoid unnecessary arguments with your wife as this might be used against you in court. If you have small children, then it is good to let your kids know that you still love them and that you will not leave them, even if you have to move house. Small kids can pass through a lot of stress as a result of the parental problems so make it a point to let them know that they have nothing to do with the problems that there are between yourself and the mother. Coming again to the children issue, if child custody is an issue then it is important to hire a lawyer who is experienced in such a field and who can give you custody advice.
Last but not least you should always try to distract yourself from the emotional stresses of divorce. Live goes on in any case so you should take divorce as it is. Spend more time on your hobby or find some new hobbies. Distract yourself by doing some sports, going to the gym, doing some yoga and so on. All this while spending the least amount of money as possible (it might not be the best time to start playing golf). Try to avoid taking any pills for stress release. Pills can have negative side effects on the body and you definitely want to avoid looking drained during the divorce procedures in court. Better alternatives to pills are to seek for marriage therapy, counseling advice, divorce support groups, attending to meditation classes, listening to relaxing music, having a walk in the countryside and so on. Try to avoid having large meals and stimulants like coffee before going to bed as these will not help you in getting relaxed sleep.
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